Devarim

The month of Elul is a period of introspection and spiritual growth. Allow me to suggest the following practice in preparation for the Yomim Noraim. The illustrious Gaon and teacher of Israel, Rav Akiva Eiger zt”l, attended a Rabbinic convention in the city of Warsaw. Upon arrival, he instructed his entourage to inquire as to the whereabouts of his relative and arrange for a visit. To their utter shock and dismay, they discovered that the relative was a simple shoemaker living in the most run-down section of town. In their opinion, it was not befitting the dignity of the Gadol Hador to visit a pedestrian living in the worst part of the city. Rav Akiva Eiger, however, was insistent and explained his actions with the following insight. In this week’s Parsha, Ki Seitzei, (22,1), the pasuk says, “You shall not see the ox of your brother or his sheep floundering, and hide yourself from them (‘vehisalamta’); You shall surely return them to your brother.” The Torah continues with other details of this halacha and concludes: “You shall not hide yourself (‘lo tuchal lehisalaim’).” The Gemara in Baba Metzia 30 learns from the first mention of ‘vehisalamta’ - ‘and you shall hide’, that there are indeed times that it is proper not to return a lost item and instead “hide” and ignore it. Since it is not befitting the honor of a distinguished person to “shlep” an animal through the streets, he would be allowed to neglect the lost object. However, said Rav Akiva Eiger, the pasuk says in Yeshaya 58,7: “Do not hide from your relative (‘lo tisaleim’).” When it comes to family responsibilities, there is no dispensation that the lowering of one’s honor relieves a person of his obligation. The institution of family demands that we do not stand on ceremony, but rather compromise our dignity in reaching out to a relative.

The Admor Rav Naftali of Ropshitz zt”l interprets a stanza in the song “Yedid Nefesh” in the very same way. “All-worthy one, may Your mercy be aroused and please take pity on the son of Your beloved, because it is so very long that I have yearned intensely to see the splendor of Your strength. Only these my heart desired, so please take pity and do not hide (‘v’al tisalem’).” The Almighty revealed Himself many times as a “zakein”, a distinguished elderly individual - during Revelation and the Exodus. It is therefore not befitting for Him to cleanse us of our sins or to be the “Melamed Torah” - the Teacher of Torah, to every Jew. (Teaching Torah is similar to returning a lost object, as we say in Shemone Esrei - “Bring us back (‘hashiveinu’), our Father, to Your Torah”.) However, we implore the “Beloved of our soul, Compassionate Father - (Yedid Nefesh, Av Harachaman)” to exercise His family responsibilities toward His beloved son - to take pity and not to hide i.e. “V’al tisaleim”, in the spirit of “From your relative, you should not be ‘misaleim’ (hidden or neglectful).”

We may, therefore, make the following suggestion. Since the Almighty relates to us quid-pro-quo (“mida k’neged mida”), mirroring and imitating our actions and initiatives, if we act as Rav Akiva Eiger and lower our dignity to reach out to our relatives, then the Almighty will react in kind and take pity on us. Perhaps it would be proper to phone a contentious relative, break the ice, and wish them a Ksiva V’chasima Tova. We would then stand to gain tremendously from the mercy of our relative - our merciful Father in heaven. As Dovid Hamelech says in Tehillim 27, “Though my father and mother have forsaken me, Hashem will gather me in.” Even the most doting parents cannot constantly be there for their children, but the Almighty is the ultimate in continuous, loving familial attentiveness. May we be zoche that Hashem not hide Himself from us and bless each and every one of us with a prosperous, healthy and uplifting New Year.